Fenny’s Fun Pensieve

I heard this line –if I am not mistaken- from the movie Dangerous Liaisons starred Glenn Close and my all time favorite John Malkovich (I was totally crushed by his cunning, arrogant smile). Bearing in mind the reaction of Vicomte de Valmont (Malkovich) when Marquise de Merteuil (Close) exclaimed this right after he grabbed her arms, this line must have been very hurtful. I had been wondering if I would said this to a man that does not deserve me, a man falls far from my category. I know this sounds horrible but I’m sure anyone has this kind of feelings sometimes :p Feelings of superiority and pride of one’s achievements, I mean. Nevertheless when this pride is translated to one’s relationship with others, this stance is admittedly conceited.

Yesterday I met a friend whom I had not seen for a year. She comes from a wealthy family that has no problem to support her refined lifestyle and her aspiration to study abroad. When we met, she told me about one particular man that tried to court her. He is one of the salesmen that take orders from her family’s shop. It is not surprising that he did not have the chance to finish his upper education. My friend is a nice girl that likes to make friends with everyone and it seems to me that the man is more than grateful for her friendship. After a while it becomes clear that he is interested in having a serious relationship with her. She felt uneasy about this situation and asked me for suggestion. The initial reaction I gave her was ‘What? He has no future!’ –which I know, is cruel and shallow- given the story she told me that he was very intimidated by her status and repeatedly bored her with his remarks of ‘lack of fortune’(such as ‘my house is a shack’, ‘you’re a rich man’s daughter’, ‘I want to take you for a ride but I’m sorry I don’t have a car’). My friend apparently did not want to hurt his feelings by giving him false hope but she wanted to keep their friendship as well. After all, she is single and instead of having no one it is always better to have a friend who adores you and wants to be with you!

I have been in similar situation and I have to say that I reacted differently. I totally did not give them hope because honestly I fail to see anything good of trying out. I am not saying that I am too good for them (although an honor from a prominent state university and a relatively well-paid job of mine may suggest so) but I do weigh compatibilities and share of interests. I could not stand being with somebody when utter silence is almost a promise in every situation. Silence is definitely better than involving him in a conversation he does not wish to attend. And I loathe a man who makes self-pity a part of his regimen. If he knows he is not fortunate, I respect him to shut up and start working things up. I believe in process but cannot bear a difficult one. Not even in the name of love. The fact is the idea of falling in love with a guy who does not have common intellectual interest seems laughable. Compared to a situation when you compromise the difference just to avoid breaking his heart (but later you do it anyway when romantic bubbles burst and reality bites), the line ‘You’re beneath me’ is not too nasty at all!

This entry was posted on Monday, August 6th, 2007 at 12:41 am and is filed under Inspirations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.