Fenny’s Fun Pensieve

Almost all people I know would admit that my survival rate is high. I’ve always been self-reliant, even more since I left home at the age of 17 for college. I was such a good student that my parents didn’t have to remind me to study. I know my obligations as a daughter as I never wanted to be a free rider. I got free meals everyday, enough allowance to spend on clothes, books, mags, and cassettes (yeah…sound outdated huh?). The least I could do was doing my best to make my folks proud.

Another good thing I’ve learnt along the way is to be adaptable and flexible. I left my Christian elementary school for a state junior high. Less than 5 class mates got admitted to the same school. In other words, I had to adjust myself and make some new friends. And it went all over again in high school and university. At first, I sobbed a lot, worrying that I might not fit in to the new environment. It might have been true if only I had not left my previous baggage (and friends) behind.

One of the most valuable lessons I learnt outside the class room is when I got separated from my girl friends in 3^rd year of high school. They majored in Science and I bravely took the other path : Social ‘sciences’ (the reason I put it in parentheses is the common mockery from lots of scholars who note that social sciences don’t bear the slightest resemblance with ‘real’ physical sciences). Not surprisingly, I had to make necessary accommodation with my new class.

However, the internal need to play safe got the better of me during my college days. Sadly, I didn’t make a lot of friends just because I was reluctant to push my survival rate to the limit. Yet I met my best friends for life (hopefully!). Apart from that fact, I did quite well at college. You bet I needed it for the wild and unraveled employment world. Then first job came in, then the second. The problem is they locate in different part of

Jakarta

. Think about Megamal Pluit and Pondok Indah Mall, and you’ll figure out the difference!

It’s been almost 1 ½ years since I took my second job. Living at the ‘backyard’ of PIM 2, I’m supposed to be having good times as long as I’ve got money to shop. As a matter of fact, sometimes it’s the other way around. One by one, friendship has lost each meaning. Don’t mention my elementary and junior high pals…I’m embarrassed to say that we don’t keep in touch, ever. And my high school buddies? Some of them work in

Jakarta

but frankly speaking, other than having them listed on my Friendster, nothing! I barely call them, let alone meet. Well, there is one in particular. You know who you are Mon ;-p At least I do meet my college friends a couple of times. I guess it’s better than nothing at all. *nervous nail biting*

The biggest blow was when my best friend Antin got married last year. We haven’t met ever since. She’s no longer the one I tell my problems to or share stories with. I definitely miss that part of my life J What can I say? Life goes on… Anyway, sorry I forget to mention my sister. She has been studying in

China

for four years now. That too, added to the equation, leaves me lonelier than ever. And of course, Benny who went home for a short holiday and flew back to

Melbourne

3 months ago.

To tell you the truth, there are times when I am vulnerable and sensitive. I get to think that I was born to be a lone ranger, as much as to doom more friendships than ones I can make. In a way, I now tend to believe that all good things must come to an end. It eases up a little as I anticipate myself for upcoming goodbyes and amicable splits. Still, it hurts me when we grow more and more distant (geographically and most important, emotionally). It’s like watching a slow motion movie when two people who once shared every bit of their lives, finally walk to different direction. One of them turns left, the other turns right; unknowingly that the distance between them grow inevitably larger.

Okay, I will stop here, hoping that you have a renewed understanding on what is important in life. Survival is a must. You need to survive every storm and difficult phase in your life, as well as be prepared for whatever life throws at you at times you’re on your own. Yet, it is equally important (or even more important?) to sustain friendships you make along the way. After all, life is short-lived and the thought of living the most of it alone surely chills you to the bone!

I once popped this silly question on my YM status and was surprised that some of my friends actually responded to it. After I listened and had some creative thoughts, I came up with potential hints of the way people see love solely based upon their answers.

Here are some of them.

1. Milk coffee

Okay, this one is simple. It may raise some eyebrows as we are getting more and more accustomed to hearing foreign, sophisticated names such as frappucinno, espresso or stuffs like that. Yet I think people who pick milk coffee understand the sense of simplicity in love. They are laid back, humble, and not dragged to daydreaming of idyllic romance.

2. Caramel macchiato

Aha! I know many of you would pick this (thanks to Starbucks). What would I say? Ummm…you are modern –that’s easy to tell-, like to play in a game called love, often a social butterfly but loves to play hard to get. Definitely want someone equally sophisticated and comfortable with. Some clever advice from me : do consider people on the other line, people who you call nerds. They have interesting things to offer too J

3. Green tea frappucinno

Here comes the hybrid of two fore-mentioned types. They love to call themselves ‘down to earth’, easy going, and girl/boy next door. However, they look for certain qualities when it comes to hunting season. It’s so hard to explain what exactly they crave that they cannot tell. As a result, they may not find it easy to find someone who is right for them. Not surprisingly, they can get seriously hurt as much as –on the other side- break some hearts along the way.

4. Chocolate Royal

Only one person chose this : the one and only Monika Nurul Pratiwi (what a great introduction Mon, you should thank me for this, hehehe…). Didn’t I say that the question was about coffee? Then why did you answer Chocolate Royal anyway? *scratching head*

Needless to say, she is one of a kind. She comes up with unique and original ideas while maintaining the hip image and following recent trends. In love, she is a real flirt. Refuses any kind of categorizing, she manages to have a relatively successful ‘officially unofficial relationship’. Two thumbs up!

5. Milk

A genuinely good person, you don’t expect too much from your spouse. You’re supposed to be the most content lover, except for the fact that you can be too naïve and vulnerable. It’s okay to express the depth of your emotions as you have to learn that others have varying standards and demand some complexity in order to start paying attention to you.

Of course that was just my interpretation of correlating things that seem to be completely irrelevant. Yet they may not be as irrelevant as they seem to be. Coffee, as well as love, gives us good times and offer some relieve when the world outside is too much to bear. No wonder both can cause addiction! Little is good for your health but don’t overindulge which results in more and more cups (or love) needed. The least dangerous side effect is SD (Sleep Deprivation) which I’m sure every one of us has experienced J