Fenny’s Fun Pensieve

Typical question from all men who cannot speak womanese ;-p
Here are my answers, some are typical while others -hopefully- are eye-opening.
1. Each woman perceives herself less than others.
Not beautiful enough, not interesting enough, not smart enough. In short, far from perfect. How come we have such low self esteem? Surprisingly, we suck that idea day by day in our pursuit to perfection. Every woman’s struggle for perfection causes another woman’s pain. Seeing our sisters and girlfriends succesful with their career, dazzling in their appearance, happy with their marriages/relationships adds so much pressure into our own image of perfect life. That’s why even those who are deemed ‘perfect’ by others keep comparing themself and feel inferior.

2. In relationships, it’s widely recognized that men are commitment-phobic and yes, unfaithful.
I don’t need to cite any facts and figures, do I? Just take this into account, Liz Hurley is gorgeous. Dare to say no? Yet, her back then fiancee Hugh Grant still screwed a prostitute in his car (anyway she’s black). Can you believe it?
One more illustration, Sienna Miller. Beautiful and goddess-like. Jude Law slept with his children’s babysitter though.
What’s wrong with these guys? Can’t they see what we see? Well, maybe it’s not their fault. Maybe it’s because women got F in sex!

3. Women tend to do more and more things simultaneously and in result, bear more responsibility.
That’s how it works these days. Contemporary women climb the corporate ladder while doing their domestic work. Making breakfast in -always- hectic mornings, preparing their children to go to school, reminding their husbands of important appointments, coming home late but still manage to cook dinner and spare their time to check childrens’ homework. How in the world with such obligations to endure we don’t get insecure???

4. One strike and you’re out
Americans say three strikes, yet today’s cruel world doesn’t show mercy. One lost chance and you may not get it for the rest of your life. One mistake at work and chances are, your boss would not even consider you to organise his cocktail party. One missed romantic date and you’ll spend next eight consecutive months loveless. The competition is getting so fierce that you would not have the luxury of just depending on your luck.

5. Wrinkles? Baby fat here and there? You need a major make-over!
Rich and famous ladies do great job in covering up their flaws. You don’t see a 50 year old in their natural form. They always look like they are 35. And if you are in mid-twenties like me, you face competition not only among your peers, but also with 10 years older women than you who know well about maintenance!
Let’s face it, they make much more money than you do. They have much better position at work. They probably have dated great guys five times greater in number than you have since you reached puberty.
But women at 30s and 40s have their fears as well. They fear of getting dumped by their husbands for a young girl half their age. At work they are afraid of being replaced by a younger, fresher look who’s willing to get paid at half their salary. Wew…ain’t this life complicated?

My suggestion to all insecure women is only one : love your self!
You are precious, just because you have been existed. There’s noone like you in this entire universe. And everyone of you has each unique path in this beautiful journey of life.

To all men who have read this, you are an inexcusable bastard if you use this newly-gained information to manipulate women’s insecurities and take advantage from them. I hope you’re damned here on earth and down there in hell!!!

Last night after work my friend Sylvi and I went to the mall, simply because we had nothing more interesting to do! After strolling arround like two lost kids, I popped up the question ‘What about going to the cinema?’ She said yes instantly. If you happen to be a frequent movie-goer, you must have known that started back in January, with 25 K Rps you can watch a movie in XXI (Tuesday-Friday), and only 20 K for Mondays. I’ve watched several movies ever since, but last night’s Pursuit of Happyness is the best. I personally think that Will Smith should have been awarded an Oscar for his appearance
If you haven’t watched it, I strongly recommend this movie, It’s human and soul-touching, and it’s based on a true story. I always like such flicks for I’m tired of superficials and oh-so-impossible stories. The movie depicts an episode of Chris Gardner’s life in 1981 when he was a humble salesman of medical device called bone density scanner. He was struggling to make ends meet. With one son aged five and a soon-to-be emotionally exhausted wife, he tried hard to sell at least two scanners to make sure his family survives for another month. When his wife finally couldn’t take it anymore and walked away, he insisted on taking care his son Christopher eventhough he knew it was nearly impossible for him to take care of his son and at the same time worked as an intern for a stock brokerage, and also tried to sell scanners on weekends. He pulled it off in the end, and watching him struggle during the movie is pretty agonising…
My favorite part would be the scene of Chris and Christopher playing basketball. Chris told his son not to believe anyone saying he cannot be what he wants to be, not even his dad. If you have a dream, you have to protect it, he said. Such inspiring words of wisdom came from a marginal, homeless black man who kept failing all his life. That’s beyond great, the immensity of his strong will and love to his son clearly showed.
Watching this movie makes me evaluate my own life and dreams I have that keep me alive. It reminds me of my parents’ struggle to send me to school and give me and my sister a decent & happy childhood inspite of financial instability of our family back then. I remember thet my father encouraged my sister and I to be swimming athletes, just to make sure that we have privileges to go to public university on athletic scholarship. I swam for almost 5 years and I cried a lot in the pool (maybe that’s why I’ve had a poor eyesight until now ;p) because that wasn’t what I wanted to be. I wanted to stay at home studying or watching TV instead of being in the pool for 2-3 hours on a physically hard exercise. I gave up on swimming when I was in the last year of elementary school despite my father’s opposition.
I made a pledge to myself that I would excel in school to show my father that I don’t need athletic scholarship to be accepted in a good public university. I simply spent years of my junior high and highschool studying, ignored the distraction of puberty and puppy love. Well, it wasn’t difficult to do since I was a nerdy and ordinary teenager hardly being in the spotlight.
It paid off. I got a place in Gadjah Mada University without UMPTN, exactly in a faculty of my choice. I had a lot of explanations to my parents on why I chose this study (Int’l relations). I told them I would take International Political Economy as my major. Anything related to Economy appealed to my parents so I finally had their blessings. Did I mention that I graduated as the best student achieving the highest score in Ebtanas? Hehehe.. (pssst, my score was 60.25). A little bragging wouldn’t hurt anybody, right? ^_^
I was never been that happier. Got a PMDK in my hand and a recognition as ‘the brainy student’ flew me up to the blanket of stars. Yet, the more challenging struggle had just begun in a new chapter. Trying hard to find my feet in a new environment has been the trademark of my life since then. Moved to Jogja, spent my college years for 3 1/2 years. Tried to get into the job market afterwards. Finally went to Jakarta to make a living. Living here was not an easy option. I don’t quite like big cities actually but I had no choice. My parents never wanted me to be just an average worker in a small city. They wish to see me climbing the career ladder out there… in a big city. I’m grateful for having them as my parents (my support system), and I just realized it again after watching the movie.
Someday when I settle down and start a family, I will tell my sons and daughters not to give up and succumb to other’s discouragement. I will be like Chris Gardner (except for the salesman part ;p I never make a good salesgirl!).