Fenny’s Fun Pensieve

Our brain doesn’t work like computers in which you can erase things you don’t like with a single click. No, it certainly doesn’t. If that is the case, I bet life would be much simpler and nicer. There would be no hatred and conflicts amongst human beings as we easily erase bad memories caused by others’ action, harsh words, or ignorance. We would no longer be victimized by our own bad memories played over and over again-memories of events hurt us to the core, embarrassed us in some way, or tormented us physically and mentally.

I remember one ‘accident’ five years ago when I got bitten by my dog. He bit me on my left hand and he did the same to the right hand when I tried to use it to protect myself. The physical pain of it was nothing, compared to emotional grief I’ve had ever since. I had always been a pet lover, dogs especially (my own dog, to be more specific) and the fact that my own dog bit me is something I can never truly understand, even until today.

Since then I had either sleepless nights, or nightmares of I got bitten to death by dog (or dogs). I usually woke up feeling worse than what I felt in my dreams. The recovery took a year, marked by ‘dogless dreams’ and a new dog which I get along very well with.

Other memories, on the other hand, may take many more years to get over with. Some may even take a lifetime. Those, such as memory of painful moments when someone we love deeply turns out to be the one hurts us the most. Or when we must deal with rejections that come from our loved one or our surrounding from which we seek support and affirmation. Just imagine if someone you really love, rejects you with biased reasons (or maybe he/she refuses to say the reason). It doesn’t matter, you are hurt anyway, regardless you know the answer to your why’s or not.

Something I can’t fathom, those people –broken hearted and deeply hurt- glorify their memory by keeping pictures of their lost love, listening to music allowing them to sob and grief, or keeping things as a reminder, things like restaurant bills, small presents (even just a sweet strip once given by a loved one). Why don’t they just delete those pictures? Throw away those unworthy things if necessary (I don’t recommend you to throw your wedding ring to the garbage though!). Don’t lecture me with tons of excuses, for someone got bitten severely by a dog I know much about pain. The thing is I chose to move on. I decided to love my new dog (the dog who bit me, died a couple months after the accident. NO. I DIDN”T POISON OR STARVED HIM! I know you’re about to say that.)

And what puzzles me more is those who keep their memories even after they have someone new, someone who arguably loves them more than the cold-blooded who broke their hearts. I want to hear their reasons for nothing reasonable would serve a good excuse. But please give it a try. I’m looking forward to hearing from you!

To make you think otherwise, I can give you some refutable reasons for not doing that.

1.                  It’s foolish to rekindle bad memories. It only binds you to prolonged pain and unnecessary heartache.

2.                  It’s not fair for your new love. He/she deserves to have the complete you, not a broken, disoriented girl/guy who sets their template of happiness with someone from their past.

3.                  There is a possibility that your current girlfriend or boyfriend will soon get enough of you. It is very emotionally exhausting to think that our lover still has someone else so special in their heart.

Three reasons are enough. What are you waiting for? Start ripping pictures off, deleting them from your computer, and cleaning up your room of memories! I don’t say it will instantly cure your wounds, but it certainly helps you to recover.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 21st, 2006 at 6:52 pm and is filed under Ups and Downs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.